Pumping For Love

The last week has been hectic to the max and I don't think that I'll have any chance of remembering half of the things that have happened. I'm not even sure if I'll give it a go. I might just hit some of it.

So I woke up on Monday and it was a strange and sad day. It was all very surreal. We spoke to the funeral director and the lady who was to print up all of the funeral notices. The phone rang pretty much non-stop, which was nice. It was wonderful to see all the support that the family was offered. Astounding really. Some people came around later in the evening. I think that I'm messing this up a little bit chronologically, but that's okay. I was really happy with that last entry, I actually had something to say. I don't think that I do now. The only point that I want to get across is that the world is still turning, life goes on.

The actual process with the funeral director was straight forward. Choosing a casket was weird. Apparently you're not supposed to call them coffins either. So there you go.

I can't really recall what happened when. There was alot of organising. A bit of cleaning. Some buying. There was a feeling of sadness in the house. Exhaustion.

Thursday came around, and that was the designated day for the funeral. It all went off without a hitch. I was extremely proud of my family. My father especially did a particularly hard job with a lot of courage. Although the service was sad, I don't think that it was depressing. I think that the music definately helped with the mood. I don't think that I'll listen to the Angels in the same way.

Afterwards is a bit of a blur. I spoke to a lot of people, some of whom I haven't seen for a long while. I almost didn't recognise a few of them. I met some people that I have only spoken to and never seen before and met some people that I'd only seen and never spoken to before. We were the last ones to leave the church, and I don't know if this is the correct etiquette for the day, but that's okay too.

Back at home I was disappointed that I only had one sandwich before they all disappeared. I think that we underestimated a little bit how many people there would be. At one stage Dave had to go and pick up an extra 6 cartons. I continued to speak to a lot of people and it was good. My Dad took some photos later in the afternoon, and to look at them you wouldn't know that we were at a wake.

The bourbon that I'd been saving for a special occasion was opened because if your mother's funeral isn't a special occasion, then I don't know what is. It was a good bottle. Things got a little hazy afterwards. We went for a walk down under the bridge to feed the ducks. There were also some eels down there, and we fed them too.

Soon the sun was falling, and with it my strength. I've never been able to go for the long hall when there's an early start. I missed out on going to Ribets. I had a good talk to Nick. I think that it was a fairly upsetting day for him.

I eventually went to bed. I was worn out.

I woke the next day and did some stuff. I can't really remember what. I hung out with Ria for a while in the morning. I went to the child care centre. I picked up a gift for Ria's birthday. I went and signed a new phone contract and was given a new phone. It's sweet. I went home and slept for a while. It was strange at home. After all the activity during the week, it was totally devoid of energy and action. I slept in the afternoon.

That night I went to Oxford 152 for Ria's birthday drinks. It was a little strange to begin with, but I got into the swing of things. I spoke to some interesting people. Later in the evening there were a few familiar but unexpected faces. One of them, Nelson, told me that as soon as he heard about my mother's passing he rang his mum to tell her that he loved her. He's still as charming as ever. We were both drunk. I was at the pub until closing time.

The next morning I woke up and hung out with Ria for the morning. Eventually we decided to take Tony and Emma up on their offer to join them camping at Mt Tambourine. We needed to take a couple of things, which I managed to stuff up completely. I thought that I'd packed two fold up chairs, they were actually two tables which were broken. I was asked to bring up an extension lead, so I took one that had been cut in half. I just couldn't get it together. Once we were there we went out for a meal which was atrocious. Don't go to a place called Karnak. To give you an idea of what sort of place it was, they'd hired a guy to play his guitar. He was able to play five songs, then he mustn't have known any more, because he started to play the same five again. It was terrible.

When we got back to the camp site I was really tired and stared into the fire for a long time. I think that I was reasonably antisocial. I wish that I had been better company, but I probably shouldn't have gone up there. I didn't want to stay at home though. Home was quiet. Home was empty.

Sunday morning was spent packing up, having breakfast (not at Karnak) and driving back down. I was still extremely tired. In the afternoon I had a nap. I felt better after this.

Sunday night Ria and I went out to celebrate her dinner. We ate at Sakura on Bennetts Road. It was the bomb. I had edamame for the first time. It won't be my last. I also drank a can of Sapporo which was fantastic value at $5.50 for 650mL.

Monday was Ria and my father's birthday. I gave Ria her gift in the morning. It's a painting of some geese. When I first gave it to her, I think that she was a little shocked. I really like it though, and when I saw the painting it made me think of Ria. I think that she came around in the end.

Monday was also my return to work at the centre. I must admit that I was apprehensive on my way there. I was not looking forward to having to speak to everybody, but in the end it was good. Hearing all their words of sympathy and their memories has brought a better sense of all the different ways my mother will be remembered.

After work I purchased some presents for my Dad and then came home. At 7 I picked up Ria and then we went for dinner at my Nanna's place. We had roast. It was good. We all tried hard, but there was something missing. Still, it was a nice night. I think that my Dad is going to get a cement animal on Father's day though, despite the ban that he's placed on them.

Yesterday at the centre some of the After School kids brought a baby noisy miner bird that had fallen out of its tree back. We placed it in a box with a towel, gave it a light for some warmth and rang for the appropriate information. The authorities recommended putting it back in the tree, so I took the box and put it back in the tree. I didn't think that the bird looked too good. He looked kind of dodgy. Anyways, I put the box back up the tree, with the whole family of noisy miners flying and swooping and squawking around me. I left it up there. Today I went back to check on the bird. It was dead. I wrapped the body in the towel, and then put the towel and the box into the bin. When I went back inside I was asked whether the bird was okay. I lied and said that he wasn't in the box and must have made it back up the tree.

Also today, one boy hit his friend in the view of his teacher. He was made to lie on his bed for the rest of the morning, as he has knows that this is the wrong thing to do. Later he started to complain about a headache, to which he is susceptible. I must admit that I did think that he might be faking, and that if he was unwell it was that he was forcing himself to feel that way as he is quite strong willed. He didn't eat any lunch, and was unable to sleep for a long time because he was uncomfortable. Eventually he drifted off into a fitful sleep. His mother had been called, and she came to pick him up. As she was taking him out to the car, he vomited. All over her. In her hair, down her shirt, on her bag.

The house has a strange feeling in it now. Everyone's here, but at the same time it's very quiet. It's empty. Now that we are returning to our normal lives, the realisation that my Mum is no longer here is becoming more noticeable. I know that there were things that happened at work today that I would have liked to have spoken to her about to recieve some guidance. I will just have to trust in myself alot more now.