My Naked Face

Believe it or not but I made a mistake last night.

I know!
Tell me about it!
Unbelievable, huh?

It resulted in me having an absolutely horrible night sleep and caused me to have too many thoughts lying there in bed waiting for the release that my dreams would bring. It seriously sucked.

I spent the weekend down the coast at Burliegh. I'd had a very nice time, even though the weather wasn't the best and the surf was dangerously rough on Sunday, still though it was nice. I was really looking forward to spending Sunday night on the couch in my underpants with too much bad food, a couple of beers to the food slip down and Traffic on the television. It was going to be great. So you can imagine my surprise and disappointment when my young brother barges into the apartment with two of his mates. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not upset that these guys were going to be down the coast, but it would have been nice to get a phone call or something like that so I could have changed my plans. They were really pretty lucky that they caught me with pants on as well, because I'm pretty sure that their young eyes are not yet prepared for the power and beauty that is me naked.

I still had options up my sleeve at this point, it was only about 6 o'clock and I could have easily made it back to Brisbane to watch my show and have a good night sleep in my bed. But that's where I went a bit wrong. I thought that it would be much nicer to sleep down the coast in a room with air conditioning and maybe even go for a quick dip in the morning before making the commute back to the big smoke with the other seasoned travellers at slightly above the speed limit. It also helped that Dave was going to buy some Big Chief and they make some really great burgers. Dave told me that he was expecting a couple of other people as well, but I was cool with this because I just figured that I'd have a couple of beers, slip off to sleep in the isolated main bedroom and wake up in the morning without a care in the world. Wrong. Wrong.

The burger was great, so that was good. And it was only Dave, Joel and Randy Balls for a few hours so that was cool. I watched Traffic, had a couple of drinks and was generally pretty antisocial. Dave somehow managed to persuade Joel that they should have an Hour of Power. This is basically Centurion-lite. It only goes for an hour. I think that they got 15 minutes into it before somebody started to puke. Those Big Chief burgers really are big.

This doesn't really worry me. I mean, we've all vomited on occasion and so as long as it gets cleaned up, she's apples. Soon after though we had a couple of arrivals. The first was a dude called Chase and a couple of girls who are about to enter year 12. That makes them about 16, right? Dear oh dear.

There's nothing to make you feel really old like an attractive young girl. It's terrible. Like, really bad. Do you know that these girls would have been born after Expo 88? I've got shirts that I wear that are older than they are! I've got scars that are older than them! I've lived in this one house longer than they've been in the world! One of them's Dad uses heartshapedbox as his password on his computer! That means that I probably have more in common with her father than her! How did this happen? When did I get so old? And why do I, even though I've had better conversations with 4 year olds at work still want to get them naked and do all sorts of things to them? It's really terrible. They're still oh so young and oh so innocent but to look at them conjures up all sorts of sadistic and perverted scenes in my brain. It's really worrying me. I think that it's got something to do with them having long lean limbs and faces kept line free by exuberance. They've got all of the makings of a woman, they just don't know it yet, but they're slowly finding out.

Ah, so, yeah, sorry I kinda got a little worked up there. It's really terrible. I could just see these girls in a couple of years and they will be totally different. And do you know why? Because of dickheads like me trying to corrupt them. Not that I did last night. I just wanted to go to sleep. Still, I know what I was thinking.

To end the story, I ended up lying in bed for about 4 hours. No sleep. For a while I kept getting visitors. Then people started using the bathroom near my the master bedroom. Then some dude made out with one of those young girls. Then he left and the other girl came in and they talked about what had happened. Then some more dudes came to piss. I think that somebody puked in there too, they definately had a lot of trouble standing up. I just lay there, listened to a few tunes. Occasionally did the grumpy older brother thing and told them to keep it down some people are trying to sleep. In the end I think that I managed a couple of hours.

I shaved off my moustache today. I realise that I have a very small mouth.