Arrest In Effect

Everything was peachy for a while there. Then I had to go and fuck things up with my big mouth.

I understand that me saying that you really didn't want to know would have only spurred you on, but it's the truth. It was something that you really didn't want to know. And it was something that I really didn't want to tell you. I still don't know why I did. But, it's done now. The words can't be unsaid. I can't take it back.

I bet that you wish I could un-say it as well. If only you'd believed me. I told you. There are some things that are better left unsaid. I haven't always done the right thing. I have let myself down before, in many different aspects. I'm sure everybody has. I now know what it feels like though, and I know that I really don't want to have to feel that way again. It sucks.

I bet you didn't think that I was capable of such a thing. I bet you thought that I'd always been a reasonably nice guy. I bet you thought that I may have done some things in the past that were a little off colour, but I bet that you didn't think that I'd do something so low. Well, I did. And it made me feel low. So I decided that I wouldn't do it anymore.

In some ways I'm kind of glad that you were able to get it out of me. It means that I don't have to worry about it being discovered anymore. Luckily I don't get much worse than that. I don't think that it's possible to. At least now I don't have to hide. You've seen it all. I guess I've got to show you the best of me now.

It's funny how things can be going swimmingly, then one conversation can change things. I'm still exactly the same person that I was before. It's just you know a little bit more about what made me the person that I am. Still, I'm sure you would have preferred if I'd kept my big mouth shut.