Dinner's Ready

Well, the party today wasn't really much of a party at all. There wasn't any music, there wasn't any drinking, there wasn't any nibblies, and a few of those we hoped would be there weren't there (Chaplain and Doctor No. 2 I'm looking at you!). I guess it was never really going to be.

The meeting today was to discuss as a family what's going on and what we can expect over the next few months. It was to give us an opportunity to talk to each other about how we are feeling and to ask any questions we felt we wanted to know the answers too. It was pretty full on. My lame jokes went down like a sack of shit.

It has made us all realise a few things though, and this is a good thing I guess. It enabled us to get some issues clear, and for Mum to say what she would like to happen. The doctor was also able to give us a bit of an idea as to what we can hope for, but he also outlined that it is a very serious issue. The opportunity was also made available to us of the support networks that are available, so handicap parking here I come! See, even lame jokes here aren't funny. The ones in the room weren't that grim though.

One thing that today has made me realise that although I am more than happy to talk about what is going on within the family and with my mother, I haven't really been talking about how it's been affecting me. I don't know, talking about feelings and shit? Sounds kinda gay to me. Not really, but it's not as easy as I thought that it would be. I've always thought that I was a reasonably open person, but some people have said things to me recently that make me think that perhaps I am more guarded with my emotions than I thought. Somebody even said to me the other day that I'm "big, bad Robb Musgrave, and I don't need anybody." I don't know if that's true.

I left the hospital today feeling lower than I have done in the past.


I was hoping to head down to the beach tonight with my Dad. I was going to come home, grab a bite to eat, clean my room a little, then head down. I didn't. I fell asleep for 4 hours and woke up at 6.

I just bought some new earphones. The last ones I had didn't last too long, so I'm hoping these ones will. I tried to buy 24 Hour Party People but they didn't have it in stock. I don't have much patience so I'm not going to wait for it.