Come On Baby, We Aren't Going To Live Forever

Um, so yeah, like, whatever. I was planning on writing about the year 2005 this year and what an interesting year it has been. Because it certainly has been. Then I got ridiculouly fucking drunk last night and now I've thrown that old plan out the fucking window and I'm going to tell you what I remember about the fun and festiveness that permeated the air last night and that I took full advantage of, even if it has meant that today I haven't been able to do anything that I planned like writing about the year in this blog. It has meant that I've forgotten what a full stop looks like period HA!

If there are any spelling mistakes in this, I don't really care. It's a quarter past 3 and I think that I'm still kinda drunk. It was one of those nights.

It all started out so innocently, I had good intentions. I had a couple of mates over, a couple of the people I really wanted to see before the year was out. We had a couple of beers. They were cold and delicious. We were pretty well behaved really. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just about everyone was gone at a very reasonable hour. The only person left was Timothy. I think that everyone left a very reasonable hour was the start of our problems. We put some trousers on and headed up to the recently renamed Finnigan's Chin and had a couple of vodkas up there. I think that there may have even been a few Jaegerbombs. Evil things that they are. We were up there, it was pretty quiet, there were a lot of dudes. I don't think that there were really any attractive young ladies. There was one woman who was kinda hot in like a really dirty old slutty kinda way. You could really picture yourself doing some really dirty shit with her and really enjoying it and not feeling at all guilty about it afterwards. All sorts of names. Spitting. Mmm. Ah, but yeah I was talking to her and she said she was married. That hurts. Twice. It hurts that she shut me down like that, and it would hurt to be her husband and to have her tarting herself around the place like that. Oh well. There was also this dude there who owned a bank. He was cut off. He wasn't kicked out though. Now that's power.

Sorry, I'm just realising now how intoxicated I really am. It's terrible. I've got to drive up the coast sometime today.

Onwards with the story. They turned the lights on, kicked everyone out. It was about 1 at this time. Timothy and I decided that we hadn't gotten ourselves into enough trouble yet, however. We hopped in a cab and got the cab driver to take us to where he thought we should go. We ended up at the Exchange. We spoke to a bum out the front for a while. He lied to us. I passed on a compliment to a girl wearing purple pants and Timothy almost fought the guy that was with her. We went into the Exchange and proceeded to get more drinks in. There was a Canadian bartender who was lovely. I think that we may have had more Jaegerbombs at this point. It is entirely possible that there was some dancing. Drunk dancing even! I know that I had several very short conversations with young ladies. At least I think that they were conversations, I could have been just slurring incomprehensible words at this point. It would explain the confusion on their faces. I can't believe that I just tried to use there when it should have been their. Terrible.

At about 10 ten to 3 Timothy hopped in another cab and went to the Valley. The journey wasn't quick enough though and we were stopped from entering any of the venues down that way. At least the lockout was the story they used on us. Who knows? The door staff did tell us that apparently everywhere in the Valley the clocks run 5 minutes fast. I guess it's cheaper that way.

After being locked out Timothy and I headed to the only place that would still welcome us. The Casino. At this point things are starting to get very hazy. I know that we ended up playing blackjack for a couple of hours. Timothy and I both got into trouble for swearing at the tables. We had a dealer who was great because everyone kept winning and he was gay and pleasant. They quickly changed him. We didn't have quite the same luck with Kevin, the next dealer. At one point Timothy was up $1100. I disappeared for a few minutes. I think that I was trying to find a cup of tea. They don't bring you drinks to the tables anymore. Apparently you have to get up out of your seat these days. During the little time that I wasn't there Timothy lost his big lead. He ended up losing a bit. #00/hand. It doesn't take long I guess. Sucks to be him. You gotta know when to fold 'em Tim! Sorry dude.

After this happened we decided to have some breakfast. We went to Cafe 21 and ordered. They didn't really understand what I was after, which was just a bottomless cup of tea. We ordered some breakfast. It took a long time to come. So long in fact that Timothy and I decided that getting out of there was the best idea. We tried to leave, Timothy actually got out the front door, but I was held up. Apparently you've got to pay for food that you order. We ended up eating it. I think that I said I fucking hate hollandaise sauce a little too loudly. I really shouldn't have ordered the eggs benedict.

So yeah, we hopped into our final cab for the evening and came home. We both slept until 1 o'clock this afternoon. We were both still drunk when we woke up. I think that it's been a fitting farewell to 2005. Anybody want to drive me to Caloundra so that I can welcome 2006?

Creeping Around

So today was a totally rad day. I mean, it was really fuckin cool. Basically everything went really smoothly and nothing major went wrong and it had a really good vibe about it. I think that I am in love with today. The only problem is that it isn't over yet, so it could get even better! Or it could get worse. But the glass is always half full isn't it? Isn't it?

So yeah, I'm a bit excited and I don't really know why. Today was cruisy as, I think that there was 12 kids in at work which was sweet. There wasn't even any little guys there when I arrived in the morning which is unheard of! Then when they did start arriving they were all boys and wanted to play with balls and stuff! Ha!

I had a nice lunch, the girl who used to work behind the counter at the bakery at the start of the year is back for the next few weeks and she's a pretty cool sort of chick. She bought her daughter a tv and dvd player for Christmas which is a wild kinda present!

I'm reading this book by Nick Fry at the moment, it's called something. It's a fantastic read and I am enjoying it immensely. I think that alot of the books I've been reading recently have been books that I think that I should read, not books that are read purely for the pleasure of reading, and this book offers that in truckloads. The style, the characters, the language - it's all been great. Thoroughly enjoyable. Thoroughly thought through. Isn't that a beautiful phrase to look at? Ha!

The Presets are terrific. I love beer. I am enjoying summer times. I've got a great big dirty moustache. I'm a bit manic. I'm going to go and eat something. I might go and put another nail in the coffin, but I think that I need to pick some up from somewhere. Any of you guys want to make out? Oh Noes!

One Is Never Enough

Alrighty then, this is going to be done in less than 10 minutes because then I am going to go and have some breakfast and then I am going down the coast before it gets too hot. I feel that the beach is the only place that it is acceptable for the mercury to be above 33, or at least one of the only places where it is tolerable.

So yeah, the Stooges tribute show was wicked. I didn't see a whole lot of it, but there were a few 3 different bands and they all played a Stooges album in it's entirety. Pretty neat. It was rocking and rolling and boiling hot and one of the front men had to be treated for heat exhaustion but he did manage to part the crowd like the Red Sea so that he could get to the bar to get a drink. It was sweet. He had a black blazer, gloves and sunglasses on throughout the show, so no wonder he wasn't feeling so well at the end.

After the heat became unbearable up at the Troubadour (which was a venue I hadn't been to before, but one that I immediately liked, apart from the heat of course), we ventured out into the Valley. It was a bit of a weird night, sort of like being visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past. For an unknown reason it had an otherworldly vibe to it. Very strange. And I kept on running into people that I haven't seen for many years. Like Ellie Logan. Like Katei Chang. Like the Addison family. Weird sort of stuff. Kinda fun, although it all became a little too much for me at one stage and I was overwhelmed and hurled. My arm smelled a little funny for a short period after that. Smooth, huh?

Ah, somehow the end of the night came around. Ran into a few more people, reminisced some more, kept sucking down those vodka, lime and sodas. The sun came up, it was time to go. I'd decided that I had given enough money to cab drivers in the past month or so, and that I was going to make use of the 24 hour bus that is running. I walked into town, into the Myer Centre and found that my next bus was an hour away. I wasn't going to wait that long as it was already 6 o'clock and I was starting to die, the Mega Slurpee I had bought had preserved me from the Valley, but it wasn't going to last another hour. There was a girl waiting for the bus too, she was ready to work for the day. Apparently she's the manager at Cotton On at Carindale. I got her to take a cab with me out to the suburbs and in a strange twist of fate apparently her mother gave my mother a blood transfusion the Saturday before. The night was full of weird coincidences like that. That's about it really. That's been ten minutes, I hope you all had a great Christmas and that Santa brought you all sorts of cool stuff like he did me!

The Naughty Vampire

Today has been an interesting sort of a day. It's been a little bit sweet, a little bit sour. It has had it's ups and downs, and I'm sure that I've got a few more left in me before I lay down to sleep tonight as well.

I was at the post office earlier in the week and I ran into an old friend of mine, Adam Williams, and his brother, Dean. Now, this mightn't sound so amazing, except Adam lives in Sydney and Dean is living in Scotland at the moment. I haven't seen Dean in years, he's been in Siberia and places like that. It was completely unexpected. Kinda cool though. So yeah, we arranged to go out for a beer later in the week. And we did. Last night.
Also in attendance were Dom Kelly and some other dude. I think that his name was Aaron. We headed into my brother's former place of employment and JB Lester's current place of employment the Carlton Crest where did some drinking. It was the free kind which is always nice. JB made us a few interesting shots. One tasted exactly like a jam donut which was pretty neat. I think that there may have even been a Jaegerbomb at this point. If there wasn't one then, there was certainly a few later. So yeah, I got drunk. All sorts of drunk. I think that I was saying inappropriate things at one time or another too. This was all fun and games, we finished the evening with a slice of pizza. It was lovely.

Now, I'm not too sure as to my motives, but for some reason I left the other fellas at this point in time and decided that I had to get home. I walked up to the Casino from the Victory and lined up for a cab. I think that I may have tried to get into a strip club somewhere along the way. I know that I bought a Picture magazine. Not too sure why, as I've always been more in People. Unfortunately the sun was coming up again, so I guess that it means that it was about 4:30 or so. I kinda knew that at this point I was going to be late for work.

So I managed to sleep in til about 9:30. I was finally forced out of bed and into the daily routine. I didn't feel so hot. I know that I shouldn't have been driving. I had to buy some stuff for the staff Christmas lunch today. I managed to avoid talking to the parents that I saw at the shops. I was in a bit of a daze. It was ridiculouly hot today too.

Ah yeah, so the good things that happened today: It was really cruisy at work. I got to wear my rainbow shirt. I wore a party hat all afternoon. I had some lasagne. I had to stay late, which was nice because I just hung out with the kids. I heard some really bad jokes courtesy of a bon bon. I got to make some things go BANG!

It was really just a nice sort of a day. Everyone was in a good mood, I got to talk to a few of the parents I don't see too often. I found out some interesting stuff about their families and things. And tonight I'm off to see a Stooges tribute show which should be neat. Not alone either.

Watching The People Get Lairy

I don't know what it is about this year, but I've been to quite concerts and things by myself. Does this mean that I don't have any friends? Does this mean that what interests me doesn't interest my friends? Does this mean that I don't always ask people if they want to do things with me? Does this mean that I don't think that anybody would be interested in going with me? And why didn't I start doing this earlier? Was this because I had a girlfriend and didn't end up doing alot of them? Who knows?

But, yeah, I went to My Chemical Romance last night. Gerard Way is a showman alright. He certainly had some well polished moves. I feel that he may have practised them in front of the mirror a few times, they looked the goods. I also quite liked how the rhythm guitarist kept spitting everywhere, including on himself. The bassist had a cool side neck movement thing going on, the lead guitarist was kind of like Animal from The Muppets, except with a guitar. The drummer wasn't very inspiring. Ha! Still, it was a great show, I can't imagine how hot it must have been up on the stage in the Arena, especially with a tough black leather jacket on. Towards the end there was a fine mist every time the singer clapped his hands. One of my favourite moves of his was when he licked his fingers then himself. It was great.

I was pretty excited about going, I'm not really sure why. I wasn't drinking, I wasn't seeing anybody I knew there and I was pretty tired after being down the coast. It was terrific though. As expected there was a lot of black in the crowd. Quite a few facial piercings and a fair bit of ink on exposed skin. Some really hot little girls with blonde hair being alternative and punk and things. When I say little I don't mean really little, because even though it was an all ages show there was an over 18 section and this is where I saw them. Still, I wonder what some of their mother's must think, what with all those bad ass tattoos and bad ass tattooed boyfriends.

My personal favourite from the people in the crowd was a guy who was made up a bit like Uncle Fester from the Addams Family. He had basically shaved his head, painted it white and then applied a little too much eye shadow and liner. The only thing to distinguish him from the real Fester was the 6 inch mohawk that he was sporting. I didn't see it initially because it was black and camouflaged with the wall, but when I saw him from another angle I was able to admire its defiance of physics.

There were a few 5-0 around, and there was a bit of scuffle amongst the smackies outside the train station when I went past on my way in. Just another night down the other end of the Valley I guess.

Unbelievably there were a couple of people at the show in trench coats and bomber jackets. Now, I've heard about it all being about a look and how fashion isn't meant to feel good, but that's just lunacy. It had to be at least 30 degrees in there. Ridiculous.

I wonder if the punk/emo thing that has taken over at the moment is kinda like the rave type thing that was around at the end of the nineties and beginning of the noughties? I've got a feeling that it is.

Vampires Will Never Hurt You

I drove down the coast on Friday night, it was pretty wild. There wasn't just rain, it was like driving through a car wash for a half hour, minus the suds and big brush things. It was intense. A trip that normally takes only one hour ended up taking two and there were parts were I was even a little nervous. I actually got out of the right hand lane. Even though everyone was travelling at 60 kilometres an hour there were still a few nutcases who thought they'd try and travel at the normal speeds. I think that they may have had a death wish. They certainly couldn't read as all of those massive signs kept flashing, "Slow down in the rain." In the end though I made it, and that's that.

My weekend has been one of recharging and regeneration. Apart from those few beers and a couple of those nails in the coffin. Otherwise though it's been very wholesome. I've been eating fish. I've been drinking water. I've been swimming in the ocean and generally feeling pretty good. There were times when I wish that I had taken a companion with me, or that I was still in the Vegas so that I could partake in some of the festive gatherings that were happening around the place, but I knew that would have been detrimental to my health and possible mental state.

I bought a magazine while I was down there. It's a magazine that I used to buy fairly regularly when I was 16 or so, but it's been a while since I bought an edition here in Australia (I don't count overseas copies as they are cultural). Now, you may be thinking that I'm talking about some pornographic magazine, and you'd be partly right. It was an FHM, but if I was buying it for porn appeal then I would have been bitterly disappointed. I don't know what's happened to that magazine, but it used to be alright. The jokes used to be funny, the girls used to be hotter and less fake, it just seems like something that little boys pass around between each other and snigger at. It really was disappointing. Maybe it's some lowest common denominator thing. Anyways, I bought one so what does that say about me?

The reason I bought it was because it came with a free dvd searching for Australia's funniest stand up. I've thought about stand up a couple of times. Not because I think that I'm funny or anything, but because I imagine that it'd be an incredibly hard thing to do. Especially if you bombed. I once met a guy who did a bit of stand up, and in our conversation he didn't present himself as a spectacularly funny person. I wasn't disappointed, I realise that it's something that they work hard at, but it'd be an extremely challenging thing to do. I mean, who is to say what's funny? Just because you think something's funny doesn't mean that the next person will. In the dvd the people that got the most laughs were those who appealed to everyone. One guy made jokes about his relationship with his girlfriend. One cracked lines about how he looked like a terrorist. One spoke about anal bleaching. I'm not too sure about that last one, as I haven't met anybody who openly admits to have received some highlights down that way, but he was very funny.

I'm off to a rock and roll show tonight. The band is My Chemical Romance and I'm looking forward to it. I didn't realise that they were even in Australia until Friday, and I thought that there show would have sold out here in Brisbane, but apparently not. I'm looking forward to being one of the biggest, oldest, hairiest and un-made up people there. It should be good though. The clincher for me was when Gerard, the singer, said that one of their influences that doesn't get mentioned all that often is the Smashing Pumpkins. I know that they don't really sound like the Pumpkins, but I feel that there is a similar sort of movement with them. I guess. Ha!

Il Madre

I went down to West End this evening to have a coffee with someone and it was all going well. There were the usual sorts of West End suspects cruising around, and one of them decided that it was my night to hear his story.

He looked a little like a bushranger, he had the beard, he had the long hair, he was a wild kind of guy. Black jeans, wine coloured shirt, black vest. A couple of necklaces, and at least 12 rings. He was walking slowly, stumbling occasionally, propping himself up on the wall intermittently. He did not look like a very happy man. He asked me for something, which I gave to him and then proceeded to tell us what's been going on.

He said that he was a Gypsy and had come from Melbourne. His mission here was to take his mother's body back home. She was in a coma in hospital and only had a few days left to live. He was the sole child able to do something about it. One sister committed suicide two years ago. His brother was in jail. His other sister the mother had put a curse on, she was no longer part of the family. He, himself, had only recently been released from jail, and it was now his job to look after her mother and her body when she left this life. He had tried to visit her today, but was thrown out of the jail because he was drunk. He's an alcoholic and drinks from the moment he wakes up til the moment he falls down. He can't read or write, and doesn't know where he can turn for some help with his impending duties. He is a very lost individual and doesn't know what he can do.

He was saying how the Gypsies had originally come from India, the Punjab region. They had made there way across Asia and Europe, eventually roaming the countryside of Italy, Spain and places like that. I don't know how his family ended up in Australia, but apparently his father was part Aboriginal and a Vietnam veteran. His father blew the back of his head off with a double barrelled shotgun ten years ago. He asked me if I had a knife so that he could stab himself in the neck right there and then. He didn't know what he could do and he doesn't think that he's going to be able to cope. His mother called him a motherfucking cunt and a hard bastard. To prove this he hit himself in the head repeatedly. Eventually one of his rings opened up a cut in his forehead. Everytime he mentioned Pentridge prison and cancer he spat over his shoulder. Occasionally he would start speaking in a foreign tongue, repeating il Madre, il Madre. He would then start to cry.

I didn't know what to do. The only advice I could offer was that he do what his mother would want. That he should talk to the people at the hospital, they would know what to do. I told him that he needed to be sober. I told him that this was going to be a very difficult time but that he would have to do the right thing. I don't think I was any help, and I don't think that I could do any more, although I wish that I could have.

Deep Attack

I went to the beach on the weekend, and I think that I fell in love at least 15 times. Probably more. There were times when I had to hold my breath underwater and squeeze my eyes shut so that I wouldn't be able to fall in love any more. It was really a very tough day, one that was hard on my spirits. I wish that it weren't so, but it is. There was nothing I could do to stop myself. Abstinence is the only possibility. I don't want to deny myself the pleasures of the sun and the sand though, just the sights. Hmmm.

Perhaps love is too strong a word as well, perhaps it is only lust. I have gotten the two confused in the past, and it was such a strange time that I wouldn't be surprised if it snuck up on me again. But I think that there may have been a little love. A shared experience that brought joy to both of our lives. Not quite a private moment, but more a united eternity. I am certain that if I were to have expressed my physical love for these people I would have been arrested.

Some people who I definately lust after are the Price is Right girls. For a show that is (I think) aimed at housewives and elderly people who love Larry their models are all beautiful. Buxom as well. Although I prefer Andrew O'Keefe with his huge charm, quick wit and delightful puns to Larry, I find myself flicking over sometimes to see the girls from The Price is Right presenting a leather recliner. In a bikini.

I think that there's something that I have to do.

Fire To Save

It's now 3:15 on a Sunday afternoon, and although I've only been awake for 2 hours it has already been a big day. Well, half of a big day I guess as I've only half done a few things.

Something that I was able to complete in it's entirety was having breakfast, and it was quite lovely but I have a sneaking suspicion that the bread I toasted was mouldy. It gave it a musty taste if that is at all possible. It is also possible that maybe my tastebuds weren't quite right too.

Since then it has been action stations Fireman Sam. I've done a bit of gardening, helping Dad to put some new pots together. They don't really match anything and are kind of in a weird spot but I quite like them. I hope that they survive.

I've also half shaved the dog so he's feeling pretty good about himself and his trendy new haircut. I also discovered that he has some nasty puss coming out of a place that you don't really want puss coming out of. I kind of avoided the area with the razor. It's not hot.

I electrocuted myself today as well. We blew a fuse or something and I went up to fix it. I touched two of the wrong things at the same time and whammo, there was the jolt. It took a couple of seconds to figure out what had happened. I wasn't really sure why my legs had buckled like they did and why my finger was sort of sore. Once I knew what had happened though I wasn't really too surprised. I probably shouldn't have been trying to put the fuse back in upside down.

My dad is only a liquid diet at the moment as it isn't possible for him to eat any solids. He created an interesting carrot and ginger juice before. He may have put in too much ginger.

Now I'm looking forward to going over to the Westside. It's a beautiful day outside so it will be nice. Lovely people too.

That damned sun beat me up again this morning. I'm going to have to do something about that.

STI?

I'm going down the coast in about a half hour. If anyone wants to come on down let me know. Ha!

I had some stuff I was going to write about, but it escapes me at the moment. So what I think that I will write about is the latest release by Prodigy. Or is it the Prodigy? I'm pretty sure that it's just Prodigy, but I've been wrong before.

The cd is called Their Law: The Singles 1990 - 2005. It's a reminder of how good Prodigy were back in the day, and how little their sound had changed with the release of the eagerly anticipated and long awaited Always Outmanned, Never Outgunned. I listened to that album a few times but couldn't really get into it too much, it all felt the same, it felt like I'd been there before. It was also, in my opinion, lacking in big hooks. It had a some nice beats and things but it was lacking that knock out punch. It was always going to be tough after the 7 year wait between the previous album The Fat Of The Land.

This new one has all of the hits from their career, from back in the rave days to some of the better songs from the last one. It also has a few remixes of a few of the old favourites. There's a killer version of Voodoo People, the Pendulum mix apparently. I heard it the other night and it was smashing. Literally.

In other news today was a bit of a sad day down at the centre, a few of the tiddly winks are having their last days with us. I'm also surprised by all of the school kids who are getting upset about leaving their teachers. I don't remember being too bothered about it, but maybe I'm just tough. Or maybe it hurt me so deeply that I have only been able to forget the pain with time. It heals all wounds.

Tonight I'm looking forward to getting down to the beach, buying some beers and watching a bit of the television and then getting a great night's sleep in some air conditioned bliss. It's going to be mega. I'm hanging out for the MTV Europe awards. It's that song. I can't stop listening to it. I'm hung up.

Lead Us Not Into Temptation

Man, is it just me or has it been excessively hot these past few days? Hot as in you can't sleep hot. Hot as in when you do finally drift off you wake up with a damp pillow hot. Hot as in everyone is perpetually grumpy and the only thing you can discuss with any effort is the heat hot? Hot like it just sucks hot. I've tried every trick in the book, and I still haven't found any relief. And it's only December. And it hasn't broken 35 yet. It really makes anything that isn't in airconditioned bliss a serious chore and I'm over it. Summer is only okay on days that start with an S, otherwise I'm not interested. It sucks.

Another thing that sucks is that it has now been a year since Dimebag Darrell was stolen away from us during the night. He truly lived the rock n roll lifestyle and could shred like no-one else. That pink goatee of his? Inspired. How do you think he did it though? Do you think that he walked around with a small container full of hair dye held under his chin, his goatee just sort of bathing in it? From all reports he wasn't only a rockin and rollin animal either, but quite a nice guy. “All he wanted to do was make everyone happy. He was the ray of sunshine,” is what Zakk Wylde had to say. His drink of choice was the Black Tooth Grin. A double shot of Jack Daniel's and a dash of coke to add some colour. Tough. But that was how he rolled. No ego, no pretension just an old hand in the heavy metal world who greeted people with an outstretched hand and "Hello, I'm Darrell."

Ah, so, yeah. Sorry.

Although it's been hot, and although Dimebag is no longer with us life goes on, and today it was certainly happening. At work once a year we get a visit from an overweight, overdressed, unnaturally cheerful man. His name is Santa and today was his day. It was a big hit, everyone got a gift, no-one missed out. A few tiddly winks were a bit put off by the big guy, but he soldiered on anyway. There was an interesting assortment of food brought in to go with the festivities, my personaly favourite being a rainbow rice cake. It looked absolutely amazing and was very pretty, unfortunately the taste wasn't quite so spectacular. Something that I will be happy not to see for a little while are those little parcels that are filled with something that's not quite meat that people try to pass off as sausage rolls. I think with some of them that are in your freezer aisle you'd get more satisfaction out of eating the cardboard box they come in. But what can you do?

So a brief synopsis of the past few days: It's been hot. There was a party. It's been hot. I don't like it. My brother has been busted again looking up porn on the internet by my mother. MILFsexchallenge this time apparently. Sucks to be him.

You Got What I Like

So yeah, Sunday's here again and things aren't quite right. Again. I'll go through a few of the things that have happened over the last 48 hours.

The Christmas party on Friday night was actually pretty wholesome. There weren't any punch ups, there was some nice dips, a great barbecue and not too many tense moments. One cool thing was the speech by Jimmy. I know this sounds kinda lame but it was a poem type thing that all rhymed and it went for 10 minutes and was great. There's been a whole lot of action down at GSR this year. Teddy got the flick for swearing at people constantly and being a grub. Adesy kept sleeping in drunk and missing work. Couchie crashed a truck into a parked car, over a hedge and into a house making the evening news. Shaneo picked up the nickname Fathead. A big year.

Yesterday was a whole different story. It was a very interesting sort of a day. One that I wasn't too keen on being part of initially, but one that once I was on board was happy about. Basically what happened was that I was on a boat with about 15 other guys and 10 strippers. There was supposed to be a 10 course seafood lunch but I only saw a couple of prawns and a couple of oysters. I didn't mind too much though as I was drunk and there were naked chicks and stuff. It was so wrong, but so right.

Once the cruise was over I was feeling pretty good about myself and at one point I got shut down by some older ladies. We retired to an apartment in Surfers somewhere. All sorts of bad stuff was happening. I think that I was a toolie. I only had shorts on and we were looking at going out later so I went out and bought some pants. Buying clothes whilst intoxicated is never a good idea, but I'm pretty happy with these pants. I'm not so happy about the price though and I don't think that I would have paid it had the circumstances been different. Um, we got a limo back up to Brisbane, I had to "go" pretty badly. It was a great relief when we finally got to the destination.

So did some more stuff then headed to the pub where I ran into a few familiar faces one of them being Matthew Brown. Or is it Brown? Anyways, he and I decided to blow that popsicle stand and head somewhere that neither of us have been to before, Chalk. It seems to be the name that is on everyone's lips at the moment, well, bar wise anyway. We got there and it was shut so we headed into the Valley. We went to Birdee Num Nums and continued to drink and whatever. I recall there being a Brazillian girl in there somewhere but they are banned like American girls from here on in.

The sun came up and I got kicked out. Matthew Brown and I caught a cab home together, but not before we spoke to some "dancers." These girls were very different to the ones on the boat, which is unfortunate for them.

So it was a very big sort of a day, very unwholesome and I'm going to have to scrub very hard to get the filth off, and I don't think that I will ever be the same. I used to try and tell myself that I didn't really like this sort of stuff and that it was beneath me and things like that. I think that I was wrong. I think that I am a bit of a pervert. I think that I am a bit of a boozehound. I think that I am a bit of a fiend. Oh well.

Asteroid Gardenia

Tonight is the night, the night of the annual George Sommer Christmas party and I'm scared. The George Sommer Christmas party is a fun filled, wholesome family event that everyone enjoys year in year out.

There's plenty of room as it's in the backyard, out by the pool. There's a jukebox that plays all of the old time hits that they boys sing along to during the day. There's some lovely canapes and hors' dourves, the highlight of which is the cob loaf filled with aspargus dip. There's normally a lovely breeze that blows through keeping things cool. There's a barbecue where everyone's a winner. There's some terrific salads with crisp greens and juicy tomatos. There's a cafe style gas heater in case that breeze keeps things a little too fresh. There's a ping pong table up the back in the shed where the annual tournament is held. There's a nice mix of old and new, young and old and everyone has a chat. There's even a cheerful rottweiler who often wears some tinsel around his collar. There is also 4 very long and very deep eskys filled to the brim with ice cold XXXX. I love it.

This has traditionally been a huge night for the company, a time when the employer can thank his employees and vice versa. It is steeped in tradition, with many of those rituals still being played out today. One that died out with Old George is the raising of the flag. Apparently what used to happen was that on the Friday when the party was, no-one could start drinking until the flag went up, and George wouldn't put it up until everything was in order. Another that has disappeared more recently has been the punch up that was the climax of the evening. Unfortunately old Fat Finger and Beacho just can't duke it out like they used to. Well, I think that they actually could, it's just that they got a bit older and it takes a little bit longer for the swelling to go down these days.

One of the parts of the evening that has been kept up is the aforementioned Ping Pong Tournament. This is always a hotly contested event with the teams sorted out weeks in advance and a lot of training and preparation done on the night (making sure that you're not too drunk by this stage). With Millsie up in Kakadu somewhere the title is wide open for Ian to reclaim it. I wonder if he will be able to do it. Another highlight of the evening is the singing of The Gambler. This is often done fairly late in the evening. Sometimes it is so good that we even sing it twice.

I have my own mythology with this party. The first night found me wandering around a nearby bus depot at 3 in the morning, ringing up and abusing my friends. Another year I was found the next morning on the front lawn of the Sommer's house, apparently I didn't move when Elvis the rottweiler came up to lick me. There was also the year that we managed to leave the premises and head into a pub where we drank all manner of free flaming shots. Mayhem. Last year though I did something that I thought may have discontinued my invitation to the night. It was before the ping pong, but it was getting late. I'm not really too sure what happened, but I ended up falling through the ping pong table and damaging it irreparably. I felt terrible about it.

So what will tonight bring? Good times I'm sure, but hopefully the night won't end in one of those weird and wonderful ways that it has previously. If I steer clear of the half rum half scotch drinks I might be alright. Wish me luck!