Jealous As A Goat

I woke this morning and allowed Ria to wash my hair. She has this fantastic shampoo, it's from the good people at Aveda. It makes my hair feel luxurious and smooth. It's wonderful. But I'm sure that you don't want to just hear about what's been doing with my hair care routine.

You may or may not have celebrated it, but Christmas was this week. It was a nice day. I finally managed to get all of the shopping done on the day before Christmas. I felt a great sense of relief. I managed to get something for everybody that is on there. I am kind of fearing my bank statement though, because I feel that I may have spent up big. Not trying to be a grinch or anything, but I think that I was trying to compensate for the numbers being down by pushing some other figures up. I don't think that that method will work for ever. You never know though.

I was the reciepent of some wonderful gifts. Some highlights are a cooking class, a ticket to some plays and two copies of Michael Crichton's Next. I was very excited to receive any present, and these were great.

Another terrific present was a water pistol. It's one of the ones that you pump up so that you can get a fair bit of water pressure and hit people who are a fair distance away. It is alot of fun, although I did make my cousin's young children cry with it. I guess I didn't want to lose my way with the children seeing as I'm not working this week. Also, what do you call your cousin's children? What sort of relation are they to you? I'm not sure. Second cousins?

Christmas day is always a very long day, and this year was no different. The first arrivals were knocking on our door at 10, and the last to leave didn't get out until 9. A long day. I was over it at a couple of stages. I was tempted to get my Dad away from the champagne for a little while as he was proving particularly irritating, but I didn't want to get all grinchy and make a big deal. I just hid out for a while. Being out til all hours the night before probably didn't help. Although I did see a guy called John who was in my house at school. He was in New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina and then spent some time in the TerrorDome. I hope that I didn't give him too hard a time about the piece I saw on one of the current affairs shows about how he started a relationship with one of the girls stuck there with him.

So with Christmas Day over I woke up early Boxing Day eagerly anticipating the beginning of the cricket and also Steph and Ed's engagement party. Unfortunately it was raining, which was to put a bit of a dampener on both events. Or so I thought. I don't think that it affected either proceeding too much though. Ed and Steph still had a great party, and Warnie still got his 700th wicket. Tops all round.

I had a wonderful time at the party, although I'm sure towards the end I think that Steph's parents were ready for us to get out of their hair. Special reccommendations must go to Stuart who broke out in a mystery rash that may or may not have been brought on by chocolate cake, and to Tim for eating a piece of said chocolate cake that would have chocked open even the most violently springed doors. It was massive. A special mention must also go to Lilly for the 5 bean salad. It was the best bean salad I have ever had. I really enjoyed, so much so that I went back up for more. And Ed for his eggplant and tomato dish. Rattazooey? Zattarooey? You know what I'm talking about? It was a really nice afternoon/evening and it was great to hear the stories about how their relationship started and things like that.

Afterwards I walked the streets of Carindale for a while. I was carrying a bottle of wine and listening to some music. I wasn't just walking aimlessly. No. I was walking up to see Sarah and Simon up at Sarah's place. It was really nice to see those two and it makes me very happy to see the two of them enjoying life so much. That was pretty much it for Boxing Day. It was a big day, a fun one.

Wednesday and I had a bit of time to kill before I went to the airport. I was flying out to Mackay. Stuart and I drove down to Denim for a coffee. 11 was there. Then we headed over to Boundary St and checked out the thrift stores. There was a pair of pretty cool shoes, but unfortunately they were a size too big for both of us. We checked out a couple of other stores and then had some Nandos with Dean and a couple of his friends from Atlanta, Georgia. I've met them both before and they're still friendly people, so it was nice. Unfortunately we lingered a little bit too long though because Stuart got a parking ticket. Bummer.

Soon it was time for me to get my A into G and head over to the airport. Unfortunately there was a huge traffic jam, and the 20 minute journey turned into an hour nightmare with me freaking out that I was going to miss my plane. I made it just in time and walked straight onto the plane. I was pretty worried though.

Next thing I know and I'm in Mackay and it's raining. I had a great time though. Ria's uncle has a house on Black's Beach. It was fantastic. Very relaxing to sit on the patio and watch the ocean. It was quite fierce, but hypnotic. I watched for quite a few hours. Before I knew it though, it was time to come back.

In the almost 3 days I was at the beach I didn't wear a pair of shoes, didn't look at my phone or pick up my wallet. I played cricket, walked on the beach, collected shells, ate, drank, read, slept and talked. It was fantastic. I really had a wonderful time, and I was a bit sad to be leaving. Just as the weather was starting to fine up. Ria even made friends with a cat who came up to her. She was the friendliest cat I've ever seen, and if all cats were like her, then I think that I could be a cat person. Don't tell Reggie I said that though.

Today has been a pretty cruisy day. I've been reading about Talking Boony and Beefy a little bit and also driving around looking for meat pies. Everything is starting to fall into place with regards to tomorrow's celebrations. I bought some sausages today. I'm starting to get excited. It should be great.

I remember getting horribly drunk with Tim one year ago tonight. It was epic. I still have the casino chips in my drawer.

Wildlife Warrior!

My close encounters of the furred (and feathered) kind continue! I was retiring to my bedroom for the evening when I found this guy already in here. I've asked him to leave. I've said that there's not really anything for a tawny frog mouth to eat in here, but he doesn't seem to want to leave. I tell you what though, he's a brave bugger. Either that or scared stiff. I reckon he looks pretty tough. It's always nice to make new friends and I think we'd get along, but I don't know if there is a future for us. I'm just not the night owl I used to be.

Mastodons and Mammoths

I've had a couple of interesting interactions with wildlife today.

The first one was when we were sitting on the patio talking about what needed to be done for the day. My brother noticed something on the ground next to his chair. He thought that it looked like a poo, but couldn't be too sure. I said that he should pick it up and see what it felt like. He didn't think that was a good idea. I did though, so I grabbed a twig and picked it up. It stunk. It had lots of hairs and things in it. Dad said that he thought that it might have been a snake poo. That's exciting! It wasn't there yesterday, so that means that sometime in the last 24 hours there has been a snake shitting on our patio! I think that it had eaten a mouse or rat or something.

Next!

I was taking some rubbish up to the bin. I opened the wheelie bin, dropped my bag in there, then put the lid back down. On top of the lid there was a stick insect/ praying mantis thing. He was cuddling a wasp type thing. The wasp type thing was trying to sting the mantis, but he couldn't reach. The mantis just held on. Eventually this goo started threading out of the tail of the wasp thing. There was another wasp thing watching all this unfold. I was watching too. It was interesting!

Next!

As I was returning from watching the death of the wasp type creature I walked over the drain there was the sound of scuffling beneath my feet. As I continued on a giant lizard popped out of the guttering and scurried inside. He was huge! I lifted up the garage door to follow him. As the door went up I saw something move over to my right. On my left a bucket fell off something. This made me jump as I thought the big lizard was coming to get me! He wasn't though. I found him hiding behind a paint tin. I watched him for a while, then let him be. He was a big bugger.

That's about it for my wild life adventures. It's been a big morning. Do you think that I could count the suspects who were still out when I was driving Ria to work early this morning? I think that a few of them were animals. It was good to see the nocturnal creatures in broad daylight.

This afternoon I'm going to grab the last of the presents I need to grab. There's only 3 I think. Shouldn't take too long, except for Stuart's. I'm not too sure what I'm going to get him yet. Maybe nothing?

Oh. I'm thinking about getting drunk here on the 31st. If anyone wants to come on down it's going to be a very casual affair. Clothing optional!

Plastic Happiness

Long time. No write.

As you can see from the pictures below the Christmas party was on Saturday night. It was a pretty fun time, I guess. We saw some comdians at the Sit Down Comedy Club. The headliner was pretty funny. The middle guy was telling jokes to the lowest common denominator. He was obscene, but still had me laughing. The first guy, well, I'm sure he would have been better if he'd told his jokes in the right order. The first guy got to the end of his set, was about to tell us the joke that was supposed to bring the house down, when he said, "Oh shit. I haven't told you the joke that you need to hear in order to get this last one. What should I do?" He said good night and sat down.

That was pretty much it for the evening. Everyone went upstairs. From there some people left, and some people stayed. I stayed for a while, drank a couple of Jaegerbombs then walked down to the Casino with Ria. We caught a cab from there. The walk in the fresh air probably did me some good. Ria was trying to start fights with randoms the whole way down. I think that she might have been trying to defend my honour.

The next day I was up and at 'em early so I could have breakfast at my grandmother's. It was lovely. I wasn't even feeling too under the weather, I think that I was just a little bit grumpy. Once lunch was over Dad and I went to his favourite place, Bunnings, where we bought a new table. Unfortunately the table wouldn't fit in the car, so we had to borrow one of their courtesy trailers. It fit in the trailer.

This was my first experience driving with a trailer, and to tell you the truth, it felt pretty much the same. I didn't do any reversing, which I understand to be tricky, but I did do plenty of driving forwards. It was exciting. The other exciting thing about this excursion was that the dude at Bunnings was James McIntyre. He used to play guitar with my brother in a band. I can't remember the name of the band. Anyone remember the Voodoo Glow Skulls? Fuck I hate ska.

Once we had the table at home it was time to put it together. This was surprisingly easy, and was achieved with a minimum of swearing. I thought that I was going to have to bring out some really coarse language, but thankfully I was able to keep that back for a more serious occasion.

I took the trailer back and then headed over to Ria's relative's place. It was way over the side of town, Ferny Hills I think. Over there we had an interesting Christmas lunch. It wasn't terribly exciting, and I wasn't too sure what was going on, but interesting none the less. There was some lovely dips and cheeses and things. Soon enough it was time to head back over to the south side of town. The safe side of town. There's something about those suburbs over the river. I think that milk would curdle over there quicker than it does this side.

Monday, time for work. It was okay. Work this week has been different to the past 8 months. This week I'm cleaning up my office and storing all the records and things like that. This is the first time that I've properly cleaned up my workspace. There was a whole heap of shit in there. Stuff from way back in 1996 and things like that. My mum was an amazing woman, one of the things she excelled at was hoarding useless pieces of paper. I couldn't believe the amount of stuff that was there. Needless to say most of it is now in the bin. I hope that none of it is important! I decided that if I hadn't used it in the two years I'd been working at the centre, then there was a good chance I was never going to use it. So in the bin it went. I now actually have a desk, and you can see it! It's like a whole new room.

Monday night I was over at Mrs Bowler's for a Christmas dinner. I had a pretty good time. Sure, I was the youngest person there by 30 years, but it was still fun. Maybe I'm getting old. I know that I enjoyed the turkey. It was great.

Subsequent days have been tiring. Looking at hundreds of different items every day and trying to figure out whether they are still relevant wore me out. I did manage to go and see Borat again yesterday. Naughty naughty!

So only one more day of work left before a holiday. I can't wait. I just need to get some shopping done tonight and then I'm home and hosed. I'm going to put some beers in the fridge now so that I can get home and drink one straight away tomorrow. I'm going to drive home with the windows down and music playing and a smile on my face. I hope.

I've Done The Wrong Thing!

This is not a happy face. I am extremely disappointed with myself. Merry Christmas.

Uh oh!

Jaegerbombs away! This is what Christmas Parties are made of. This picture was taken before 11. You can imagine what the scene was like after 2.

Outside Denim!

I just saw the Paddle Pop Lion! He gave me a hug! And a free Paddle Pop! It was a little melted though. The girl with him was really tall too. Taller than me!

Cricket!

Randy's girlfriend Fi is bowling. This has been a solid partnership that is now established. They're going to be tough to beat.

Lunch!

My brother Dirty Dave is playing a game of cricket in Majestic Park with some of his friends. This is the break for lunch. The VB team is beating the Gold team at the moment. Each team has one more innings.

Float On Away

It's getting pretty hot. And do you know what that means? Well yes, you're right. It does mean that I am starting to smell pretty ripe in the afternoons. But do you know what else it means? Beer starts tasting better. It's a proven fact. I'm sure of it.

Beer tastes pretty good year round, but it really starts to come into its own during summer time. There's something about having a cold beer after a long hot day at work and just relaxing for 15 minutes or so. Feeling the cool afternoon breeze on your skin, tasting that first mouthful as it washes away the day's troubles, enjoying the quiet reflection that a solitary beer can afford. It's great. Not that I've had a beer this afternoon, but I did open the fridge, and there are two cans of VB in there. But I've abstained. It may be the silly season, but I've got some stuff to do tonight, and I know that the first one will taste so good that I'll just have to drink the other one that's in there.

And we all know where that leads...

I was talking to a whole heap of parents who went to the Robbie Williams concert last night. By all accounts it was a great show. I haven't heard anybody say anything bad about it at all. It sounds like Robbie is a fantastic entertainer and really got everybody to enjoy themselves. Good on him. In fact, the people were talking it up so much that I was almost tempted to see if I could get my hands on a pair of tickets for this evening. I'm sure that there'd still be a couple floating around somewhere. Perhaps a tout out the front?

So it's now Thursday night and the week is jsut about over. The lady next door is feeding the sulfur crested cockatoos again. I'm in two minds about this. I mean, they're wonderful birds, but they make alot of noise. Especially when it's 5:30 in the morning.

The call of the wild!

How Much Can A Koala Bear?

For some reason I had in the back of my mind that once the Christmas party for the children was over, that was pretty much it for the year. I thought that once that happened, then it was plain sailing from there on in for the rest of year. Late starts, early finishes, reading books, lazy lunches. It seems as though I'd forgotten the week after the party is one of the more hectic ones in the year.

At the moment we're in the process of pulling all the artwork down off the walls, scrubbing out all of the lockers, taking down all the hanging nets and giving everything a good scrub. As well as looking after the kids. As well as getting the paper work up to scratch. As well as organising the staff Christmas party. As well as saying good-bye to all the families that are leaving for good. It's busy!

There's been some drama at work this week with some of staff. It's a bit weird really, I can't quite figure out the motivation for it. I'm a similar age to this person, and I just can't fathom what they are thinking, or even what they are doing really. It's bizarre.

There's been some nice gifts given during the week. One of the most impressive was a gingerbread train. It was fantastic. The decorating had been done by the this particular families children, and it looked wonderful. I'm not sure where the train has got to though, as it was on the bench yesterday, but seems to have disappeared today. I was looking forward to eating it.

There has also been shortbreads, biscuits, fruit mince pies and chocolates. A couple of movie tickets were also slung my way which was nice. My favourite part though is getting the cards from the children who almost always become instantly shy, even if they normally can't keep their mouths closed for a moment. Even better is when there is a message from the children inside the card. It brings the warm fuzzies on.

This evening I was watching some of the local programming on Briz31. Some of it was actually pretty cool. There was a wakeboarding program, and mountain biking program. They were sick! I hate seeing crashes on bikes, whether they bmx or downhill. Crashes on bikes just look like they hurt. I guess it's because they can get a fair bit of speed, but are a few feet off the ground. Plus there's the bike frame itself, which you prop a leg on either side of. That's scary.

That's about it really. Nothing too exciting. I bought some gifts for Christmas tonight. Online. I hope they arrive before the big day!

My Mate Boomer Rang

I can't recall whereabouts I got up to with my latest post. Did I say how I went to see the new James Bond movie with my Dad on Saturday? If I did, well you're gonna hear about it again.

I went to see the new James Bond movie with my Dad on Saturday.

I thought that it was very enjoyable. Some amazing stunts, great locations, fast cars, beautiful women and Daniel Craig's impressive physique. The parkour sequence at the start was amazing. That sport seems to be poking its head everywhere at the moment. Or at least in film clips to songs and magazines and James Bond movies. It looks like a lot of fun, but kind of scary too. I guess, and just like a lot of things, you just need to have a strong belief in your own abilities.

Saturday night was spent with my Dad also. We had some Thai food and a bottle of wine. Then we went to bed. Separate ones.

At 2 o'clock I was awoken by a phone call alerting me to the fact that now is not a good time to try and catch a cab in Brisbane. Apparently they are hard to grab hold of. While on my nocturnal adventure I was breathalised on the Riverside Expressway. The police had basically shut down the entire Expressway and were conducting tests on everybody. It was a big operation and they were catching lots of bad guys.

Sunday was a pretty lazy sort of a day. In the afternoon I went for a swim which was nice.

That evening I went to my first engagement party. It was for Angus and Tanya and it was a fun night, although towards the end I think that I was getting a little bit grumpy. That happens though. It was interesting to see so many people that I haven't had much contact with for a long time. It was nice to catch up with a lot of them, and a shame that I couldn't talk to more for longer. I guess there'll probably be another opportunity.

Monday was a good day. One of the ladies at work is originally from Bangladesh. She was very kind to us by bringing in a range of traditional dishes. They were fantastic. Extremely nice. I was lucky enough to take some of the leftovers home with me, which I enjoyed later in the evening with Ria.

Shahnaz, the lady who brought in the meal, is a very interesting person. She is a widow, and her husband was the ambassador to Pakistan. Apparently she has her own village back in Bangladesh that she is the matriarch of. She was also the champion flower arranger for Lahore for a few years running. A very interesting lady. Her daughter lives in Washington and works for the World Bank. Shahnaz lives here in Brisbane with her son-in-law and her grandchildren. I always enjoy talking to Shahnaz as she has quite a funny sense of humour, and a different outlook on the world to my own.

Today it was hot, and I'm waiting for my washing to finish so that I can hang it out. I'm cooking for dinner tonight, but I'm not sure what I am going to make.

Wake Up One Day

The Christmas party was a great success yesterday. Lots of happy children, lots of happy families, lots of happy Robb. Worn out and happy. It was tiring, but fun. I wouldn't want to do it every day though.

The children in the youngest room didn't disappoint when it came to being scared of Santa. Some of them flat out freaked. One little girl had to leave the room and then be prised off a staff member. She has a serious Santa phobia. Actually, probably more than half of the children in that room were screaming when the man in the red suit came in. Only a handfull were actually happy to go up and receive a present from him.

One of the other nice things about the day is that it gives me, and all of the staff hopefully, a chance to talk to some of the parents that you don't often get to see. Sometimes these parents can be a little bit too forthcoming with what's been happening with their lives. One dad told me how he was awake for three days, then he checked himself into hospital. He was diagnosed as bi-polar. Apparently he's on medication and behaving more like a normal person. Ha!

Another mother spoke about how her husband had had a vasectomy. Apparently it was cheaper than the dog's, and he didn't have to wear a bucket around his head afterwards. Ha!

Actually, getting the snip has been featuring regularly in my life recently. I don't know why. It seems to be coming up everywhere. I don't know why people want to talk to me about it, I don't have much to say about the subject. I think that it's fine for people to have one, but I don't think that I particularly need to hear about whether the pipes are connected downstairs or not. I don't really enjoy thinking about other men's equipment. Well, not all the time.

Last night I went to the Chalk hotel. I had a good time. I probably had a bit too much of a good time. I ended up eating some McDonalds with my shirt unbuttoned to an obscene level.

It's a bit of a confusing hotel really. So many different bars and levels and things. Plus there is a stair way that leads no where. I did see Andrew Symonds which was mildly exciting. Thankfully I didn't feel the need to force myself on him like I did Stephen Bradbury when Nigel and I saw him that time right after his historic Olympic win.

There is a whole lot more to put in. But I am not going to do it now.

Another Confusion

I seem to recall saying something about how it didn't feel like the end of the year. I remember saying something like feeling I should be doing a heap of things, especially for the Christmas Party, but not quite knowing what they are. Well, it feels like the end of the year. And I am very busy with work, especially the Christmas Party. Which is tomorrow.

It's a weird time of year really. Saying good-bye to all the families that are leaving, after seeing their child progress from barely making a sound to hearing the construct full sentences and begin to recognise words. Saying hello and getting to know the families that are about to begin their relationship with our centre. It's an exciting time, but also a bit sad.

The big man with the long white beard and wearing the red suit with the big sack bulging with presents makes an appearance at the centre tomorrow. It will be very exciting. It's always fun trying to guess which children will be terrified by him. Sometimes the most timid little guys become very brave when there is presents to be received. Occasionally the children who normally show no fear go to jelly when around the jolly old fellow. Perhaps they're worried that he knows that they've been naughty and not nice and they're worried.

As well as Santa being there, a lot of parents will also be in attendance. And grandparents. And aunts and uncles. It's a big day. There's going to be lots of party food, and lots of presents and lots of little worn out children by the time the afternoon rolls around. It's a fun day. I just can't quite remember what else I need to do in preparation.

Unfortunately it's not just the party keeping me busy at work at the moment. There's also quite a lot of accounts to be finalised. I don't mind too much though, it's good to keep busy, and it's all work that I need to do, so that's cool. I'm looking forward to actually tidying up my office. It's really bad at the moment. Normally it's at a tolerable level of untidyness, but currently it's atrocious. I barely have a path to my chair, and the desk is so cluttered I have to shift the keyboard in order to do any writing. It's horrible. It's partly my fault, but my office also seems to have been designated the space to dump things and not leave explanations. I don't know what half the crap in there is doing, but it's there. I can't wait to chuck a whole heap of it out.

Well, that's about it. Wish me luck for tomorrow, it should be a good time! At least I hope so. Either way I'm drinking beers at Chalk tomorrow afternoon!

One Way For You To Wait

Last night was a double episode of Oz. I still can't get enough of that show. It's pretty much the only thing on television that I try to see each week. Other than Neighbours of course. I couldn't last a week without seeing what Toadie and the gang are up to. I don't know what I'll do with the non ratings season almost upon us. I guess I'll just have to sleep with my worn out copy of TV Week under the pillow.

Unfortunately after all the killing, raping, homosexual plotlines and double crossing of Oz I was unable to get to sleep until late in the night. Very late. I had some interesting thoughts while I was lying there in bed. I did some haikus. I wrote out a first line to a story in my head. I then fleshed the rest of the story out. I can't remember how the story went, but the first sentence was some something like this:

The dog had pissed in the hallway again.

It was all a bit strange last night. But I think that with an opener like that, a story could evolve into anything. It could be funny or sad. It could be anything.

I was driving home listening to 4ZZZ the other day, and they played this brutal song. It was by the Walls Of Jericho. I have since found that I quite like their songs. It took me a little while to realise they have a female singer. Reasonably rare in a hardcore band?

We had a family meeting tonight. It went pretty well I think. Mrs Bowler was at her best, not tolerating any crap. I think that we're moving forward as a family unit.

I purchased some tickets with Virgin Blue and JetStar today. I'm travelling to Mackay on the 27th and returning on the 29th. There was a Qantas flight at 6:20 on the 27th, and it was 60 dollars cheaper than the Virgin Blue one at 2:30. The only problems with it being that it wasn't a direct flight, meaning that it would take 3 hours instead of 1. The other being that the Beatific Boxing Day BBQ Betrothal Bash is the day before. It starts at 1pm. As my Dad said, it's not the starting time that I'd need to worry about though. Not that I think that it would be a problem, but I think that getting someone else up at 5:15 to get me to the airport would be a little bit rude. So I'm going up in the afternoon. I think that it's a win for all involved.

Ria has decided that she is going to take back the sunglasses that she purchased on the weekend. I really like them, but I guess I'm not the one wearing them. Apparently they don't offer enough resistance to the glare of the harsh Queensland sun. Bummer.

I'm still having a hard time getting my head around the fact that it's the end of the year. Parents are starting to bring in cards and gifts at the centre, and the end of year visit from the man with the white beard wearing the red suit is this Friday. I seem to recall being a bit freaked out this time last year, but I'm not too concerned about it this time. I hope that I haven't lulled myself into a false sense of security. I think that everything is done, but I'm sure that there's a couple of things that I will remember before Friday.

One of the gifts brought in was a large jar of biscuits. Triple choc chip ones. They are very nice. I'm going to eat some for morning tea tomorrow.

Dress Jeans

I finally recovered from that burger late Saturday afternoon. It was epic. I'm actually in a bit of denial as to how hot it was. My memory is blocking the sheer horror of that sauce. It was challenging. Physically, mentally and emotionally. I'm glad that I tried it.

Saturday night I drank too much and got really drunk. It was at a joint 25th birthday party. It was a pretty fun sort of a night. A couple of weird things happened, but that's why you go!

The first thing that happened was that I was talking to one of the hosts of the party. I've known him a little while, and we were conversing about something unimportant, just shooting the shit. I knew it wasn't the most thrilling conversation, but I was still shocked when he turned around mid-sentence and started talking to some girl. I couldn't believe it. I don't think that I'm that boring! I wasn't even that drunk yet. It was the height of rudeness, and I was dumb founded. I stood there for a minute, wondering if perhaps he was going to just say hi, then come back to me. Or perhaps introduce me. Or even acknowledge that our time together had ended. But he didn't. It wasn't even like he was trying to chat this girl up! It was just plain rude. That's the way the cookie crumbles though. His loss. The fucking non-practicing homosexual.

Anyways. I consoled myself by chewing my way through a rainbow of jelly shots. Apparently they can be quite potent. I didn't think that they could be. I thought that the alochol made it tough for them to become solid. Things started to go a little bit haywire soon after this.

I was talking to some dude, he was telling me that his name was Pred. Or Prad. I couldn't figure it out, and I'm still struggling with it. For some reason he reminded me of Bernard Fanning. I'm not sure why though, because I'm reasonably certain the he didn't have long hair, a scraggle beard or a mustard suit on. Maybe it was the way he spoke. Anyways, he was forced to engage with an intoxicated Robb Musgrave. Lucky guy!

Eventually it became late, and it was time for Ria and I to leave. We walked with some other people up to Caxton Street. It was at this point that things became extremely hazy for me. Extremely hazy being that I have no recollection about anything. Ria tells me that we had some Windmill pizza and Gatorade and that we were served by 5 different people. She tells me that I was sprouting the usual to random people. Apparently there was an Irish girl who said something nice to us, which caused me to say something completely inappropriate in return. Oh well.

Needless to say I didn't feel well the next day. Ria and I didn't emerge from her bedroom until after midday. We had breakfast around 1:30. Then Ria picked up some new shades because she broke her old ones. Then we did nothing for a while. Then the storm came. Then we had KFC. Then we went back to Ria's. Then I finished my book. Then I went to sleep. Then it was today.

Yummy!

This is the remains of a burger. There's more below. I'm not sure how this works because I'm posting from my phone.

MegaDeath

Today I went down to Wellington Point to try out something that had been billed as 'The Hottest Burger In The World.' I had seen a report on Today Tonight or something and I thought it sounded like something fun. I was wrong. The MegaDeath Burger is sold with a health warning. They will not serve you if you are under 18. There is a MegaDeath Recovery Kit which includes milk and yogurt. I discovered that there wasn't enough. The burger itself has 5 different types of chilli. The least hot being the jalapenos. Towards the end of my attempt I was eating these hoping they would cool my mouth. They did a little. In all I made it half way though the burger. If I'd tried to push on I think that my body would have started to reject it. My face was red. My eyes were watering. My nose was running. My mouth was numb and my heart was pounding in my chest. It was certainly an experience. If you're down Wello way and you feel like doing something different then head to the Off The Wall Diner and have one of these monstrosities. It'll make you feel like a man! Or not.

The Pain!

It was around this point that I realised the burger had one. The chilli had defeated me. I would never be the same.