Here Daddy

Every afternoon on my way home I go the same way. That is, of course, unless I don't go directly home, but probably 14 out of every 15 afternoons I go the same way. This route takes me up Greens Road in Camp Hill, which means that 14 out of every 15 afternoons I try to get airborne in the car.

Every afternoon I make an attempt I come around the corner into Greens road and put the pedal down to the floor. Now, because it's basically a truck and a diesel it takes a little while for it to take up, and it takes even longer for the turbo to kick in. When it does though we really start to move along. I weave through the few cars parked in the street and start my ascent up the reasonably steep incline heading up towards the flat where I try to achieve lift off. I've never actually gotten the wheels off the ground, at least not to my knowledge anyway, but there's always the sensation of losing your stomach and then the sound of the shock absorbers trying to cushion the mighty weight of the beast. It really is a hoot and I look forward to it just about everyday. I do feel kind of guilty though because there a few parents who live in that street and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't approve. Especially when I have the windows down, the Gunner's belting and my shirt off. But, who cares?

It's In Your Head

I seem to remember writing a couple of weeks ago about how I was looking forward to taking it easy and, you know, settling down a bit. I'm still waiting. Somehow this weekend went all sorts of crazy again. Let's see what was involved. There were Lions, Zombies, Petrol At Seventy Cents A Litre, Happy Days, Old Friends, New Friends, These Ones, Breasts That I Didn't Want To Look At, Pest Men With Big Moustaches, Yatala Pies, Lobster. Basically it was one of those weekends that you can't plan for, one of those ones that end up biting you on the bum and you sleep for 15 of the hours that make up Sunday. You also try to make things appear more important than they really are by giving them capital letters.

So many highlights I don't know where to begin. Perhaps at the beginning? Sounds good. So it was dinner in the Valley during Chinese New Year for Nicholas's birthday. It was a lot of fun, even if I couldn't quite say Happy New Year in Chinese by the end. It really was very nice, and kind of wholesome and a good counterpoint to what happened over the rest of the weekend. I seem to remember there being this one absolutely stunning girl in the restaurant, she had something that was a lilac colour one. She was beautiful. After this a few of us headed up to the Bowery where we perused the cocktail list. One name on the list that I hadn't seen before was the Zombie. I can highly recommend one. Only one though, because after that things have a tendency to go haywire.

So, as you may have guessed things were going kinda haywire. We moved on from the Bowery and into the Fringe so that we could go upstairs and play some pool. Luckily for us there was a room free which we commandeered. Ah, we were in there for a while. Stumpy and I harassed some people in their private room who were having a birthday party. Either it was dress up party or they were weirder than I thought. Stumpy and I made friends with the mother of the girl who's birthday it was. We called her Big Mother and I may have felt her up a bit. Whilst there I made friends with a dude who's name is Dan, but who I called Trevor. He was very friendly, I don't know why. So, a bit later Stumpy and I were feeling pretty friendly ourselves and went downstairs. Somehow the night kind of ended, there was a bit of confusion, I think that I was trying to persuade someone with an accent that I really am an okay kind of guy and that she really does want to see me naked. Apparently I wasn't very convincing.

I ended up in a cab by myself with a lovely cab driver. He stopped the meter at 35 dollars because he knew that I'd had a bit of a rough trot. He told me that I need to find myself a nice Islander girl because she would take care of me. He recommended the local church as that's where the nicest ones are. I thanked him for his advice.

Before I got off to sleep I was feeling a bit emotional and sent out a few heartfelt sms messages. I'm sure that the recipients loved the fact that they were getting words of love from me at 6 in the morning.

That's Friday night pretty much dealt with. Saturday day time was reasonably uneventful. I had a nice croissant. Let the pest man in. Read a magazine. Visited Hulk. Visited Nick. Got a phone call to from my sister to invite me to our cousin's 21st. Was told that I had to buy a present for her. Bought my cousin a very nice present from the home of great presents for girl's around my age, Thousand Island Dressing. Had some KFC. I also managed to get a bit of a nap in the afternoon because I wasn't feeling a hundred per cent.

Saturday night was pretty wild in places. I don't know if it was more wild than Friday, but I didn't have as good a grasp on reality as on Friday night. That's kind of saying something. I don't know if that makes it a better night though.

The 21st was down at the Wello and that really is almost the other side of the planet. Strange people out there. All the girls looked like hairdressers, and normally this'd be a great thing because I quite like hairdressers. Unfortunately they weren't the real deal, so I wasn't that into it. Afterwards my sister kindly drove me into the Valley. Once there I had a cheeseburger, then a zombie. My night was set. So, did a bit of this, did a bit of that. Ended up at the Family after ignoring the advice of some random. Fuck the Monastery in the arse forever.

It's been a while since I've been at the Family. In fact the last time I was there was probably the night that I don't remember being there when that photo from a couple of posts ago was taken. Still, it really is a quality club, even if it is a little expensive. I reaffirmed my love of dance music, saw Matt Smith, generally had a good time. Eventually it came time to be kicked out, so out I went.

Once outside some random asked for a phone charger. She ended up hanging around for a while. She must have been on drugs or something. She was alright though, turns out that I know a few people she knows. That's about it.

Once Timothy and I got back to my house there were some big plans, but unfortunately I let the big guy down and crashed. All day. And all night. I'm a little stiff and sore today from sleeping on the couch for 10 hours yesterday. Oh well.

So maybe it'll be this weekend that I'll start to take care of myself. I don't think that I can afford to be a loose cannon much longer. While I almost always enjoy it, the thought is constantly in the back of my head that what I'm doing isn't very constructive and holds no real purpose or offer any insight into my personality. We'll see huh?

How Far Along Is She?

For those of you who aren't in the know, yesterday was Australia Day. Australia Day is also known as Invasion Day, but I'm not going to talk about that. It's kind of like Anzac Day but without the thanks giving and war specials on the tele. It is the day that some recent invaders are allowed to call themselves Australian and it is the day when alot of people get drunk before lunch time in the name of the Australian Way. I wasn't one of those people.

My day yesterday consisted of waking up down the coast at around 9:30 after having a terrific sleep, getting up, putting on my boardies and slapping on my sunscreen. I then walked with my Dad down to the beach to go for a swim. My Dad has been wearing his shoes too much recently, so he's unable to walk on the drive way at the unit because of all of the little stones. He has to sort of hop and skip on tippy toe going, "Ooh, ah, ooh ooh, ah!" the whole way. It's pretty funny to see him do this.

Yesterday there were a whole heap of people at the beach. Young families, oldies, a few younger people, this one blonde girl in a black and white bikini who was just stunning and, of course, the lifesavers. The seas were quite rough, and the beach has changed a bit since I was last there as there is now a very steep drop off just a few metres off the beach. The water temperature was spot on though so Dad and I stayed in the water for about an hour. It was wonderful. Then we headed back up to the apartment.

We had some lunch and things, I read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and had a bit of a snooze. Dad did some writing on his book and also had a snooze. In the afternoon we went to the supermarket and bought some stuff, we also bought some wine and beers.

Later in the evening Big John and Margaret came around. It was Big John's birthday and we got some take away food and sat on the balcony and drank the beers and drank the wine. There were a few stories told, a few jokes made and it was a lovely evening. Really very nice. Nice people, nice food, cold drinks, a lovely breeze coming off the sea and a relaxed ambience. Wonderful.

Today has been pretty cruisy. I think that I brought some of the relaxed outlook with me back from the coast this morning. Today I've been solving problems, getting started on other ones and having chats with people. The lady in the bakery spent half of yesterday in the hospital visiting her husband's sick father. The puzzle man is looking at renting a property and moving out to Laidley or Esk or somewhere like that. One of the Father's at the centre had his car stolen last weekend. He's also got a few dodgy sorts of tattoos on his arm and hand. Look kind of like a home job. Nice guy though.

On the subject of tattoos I remembered something yesterday about a project I had once seen. It interested me greatly, and I think that it would be one of the only reasons I would get some ink done. I'm interested in finding out whether she got to the final number. And if I were to become a thread in the canvas that is the story where would I get it done? It'd have to be somewhere that nobody would ever see. Hmm, any suggestions? Not that I'm going to do it mind.......

Let Them Up!

I knew that it'd happen, and I'd predicted that it'd happen, and happen it did. Big Day Out came around, I got a bit excited, had a couple of beers, then needed a bit of a sit down. Then I felt better, then I got excited again, then I needed a sit down again. Then I felt better again, then I saw Timmy, Jimmy and Iggy and I got really excited and I didn't need to sit down for a while.

In case you haven't guessed by now, I went to Big Day Out yesterday, and although it got off to a reasonably slow start, things definately started getting interesting once the sun went down. I thought that there were some pretty slim pickings early in the day band wise. The Presets were pretty nifty. Wolfmother were great, but really late, and there were too many people there so I couldn't really be arsed getting anywhere near the stage. Who else was good? The Go! Team were great. The singer had a fantastic outfit on and was jumping around like a maniac, which is kind of what you want in a front person. Iggy was awesome, getting the crowd up on stage and generally being a loose cannon even if he is over 60. Franz Ferdinand were pretty rad, but this is where I was starting to get really excited. I was very happy with their method of keeping the crowds cool though: massive hoses spraying everybody. I think that I was a bit drunk at this point.

I'd organised a ride home with Tim during the day, meaning that I could end up at the Boiler Room for the end of the evening. The Boiler Room at 10 is not a pretty place. It's hot. It smells. The music is loud. The bass is thumping. Everyone is covered in sweat. Lots of people have a crazy look in their eyes. It's awesome. Unfortunately before I went in there though I bought two cans of JD which I drank a little too quickly. I think that they were in my stomach for approximately 10 minutes in the Boiler Room before I had to push into the girl's toilets where I heaved my stomach contents into the bowl. It was really black and I learned that I need to improve my chewing of dagwood dogs. I felt pretty good again 2 minutes after that though, so I returned to the Boiler Room for another half hour of 2 Many DJs which was a bit intense. When I woke up this morning I had a look in the mirror and noticed that I've burst a few capillaries around my eyes. I'm not sure if this was brought about by my vomiting or just by good old heat stress. Either way I don't think that I was doing my body any favours.

That was about it really. Another one down, I'm not sure how many I've been to now. Is it 4? 5? Maybe even 6? Always a fun day. Always massive. Always tiring. You know, I'd previously put my discomfort the following few days down to other things that I'd been doing during the show, but this year having not indulged at all I still feel a bit average. I guess it is just draining. And kind of depressing as well, all of those fucking Gold Coast beautiful people. Jealousy is a terrible thing.

I'm Totally Bummed M.I.A Aren't Playing The Gold Coast BDO

I did something kind of dumb this morning. I was at a friend's place and they were naked. We were about to have breakfast and it was decided that we would have it on the balcony of the apartment. It was kind of rainy this morning, and it's not exactly a busy street so it was also decided that we would not only have breakfast on the balcony, that we would have it naked. So I dropped my reg grundies and got nude. Real nude. And we had breakfast. Tea and toast on the balcony in the morning. There was actually a bit of traffic on this supposedly quiet street, but I was confident that people wouldn't really be able to see too much because we were three floors up. I was kind of self conscious about my pubes, because my friend is a shaven haven, it didn't worry me greatly though. It was really quite lovely. And then the intercom rang.

It turns out that it was my friend's parents, they were coming over to have lunch with their offspring. Their first question to me (I had put my pants back on as soon as I realised somebody was coming up) was whether I was naked on the balcony. I said no. I mean, to be nude on the balcony? That's just rude! It's rude to be nude, at least that's what I said.

Anyways, I extricated myself from the situation fairly quickly and my brother came and picked me up. When I got into the car I had a look up at the apartment and the balcony, and I'm pretty sure you would have been able to see absolutely everything. Deary me.

Magic People...

I'm really loving this weather at the moment. BRING ON THE RAIN! It's great and it's wonderful. It means that I don't have to hang out at the centre at 8:30 at night watering the turf and it means that all that effort I went to won't be wasted. I hope. We've still got to watch out for lawn grubs, but I reckon I can take them.
It's Friday afternoon, and I'm home. It's been a pretty big week and I've got a feeling that it's going to be a pretty big weekend. Big Day Out. I can't wait. I don't know who I really want to see yet, but I know that at around 3 in the afternoon I'm going to look at my watch and think, "Holy moly! I've already been drunk twice today, am now hungover, can't face food but need to eat, want to stop smoking but can't. I need to hide from the sun for a while. I need to sit down for a while...but I really want to see (insert band name here). Oh well, time for one of these ones!" I always forget what a long and draining day it is. Towards the end of the night even the straight edgers are looking like zombies, so you can only imagine how bad the ones affected by drink and drugs look. It's a real eye opener.
After having a pretty continuous beard for about a year I'd forgotten how hard it is to maintain a smooth face. Did you know that you need to shave that shit like almost every single day? It sucks! And it hurts! And I keep getting all these pissy little ingrown hairs which get infected and turn into pissy little zits! At least with a beard you can hide that sort of stuff. And my mouth is still tiny. So far, the only real advantage I have found is when you eat a cottage pie you aren't wiping bits of mashed potato off your lip 2 hours later. I'm still not entirely sure whether this is a plus or not. So basically, I think that unless the situation improves fairly rapidly, the beard is coming back. I can handle looking like a 30 year old who's on the run and looks decidedly dodgy. What was I even on the run from? Ooh! The Mystery! Like a biker from out of town!

Black Background

Today is the first day of this week that my muscles aren't unusually sore. Earlier this week I was dirty, I had scraped knees, all sorts of dirt beneath my fingernails and a unhealthy odour followed me round like a bad smell. I've been happy though. I've achieved something that I've been trying to do for about 6 weeks now, and to have completed it I'm very satisfied. I've laid the turf at the centre and it is now, even as I write this, taking root and making the playground a fun and safe place to be again.
The bobcat arrived at a quarter to 7 on Monday morning and right away he was into it. Doing wheelies, spinning on a dime, pulling down trees, destroying gardens, breaking fence posts and digging up the ground. It was awesome. His name was Brad, and he liked to have fun in a bobcat. Who doesn't? He moved 6 truckloads of dirt out of the back playground and took it out to Gumdale where the dirt was used as clean fill. The backyard now has a drainage system that works again. It's been a while since this has been the case, and any time there has been any significant rain I've had to get out there and clear all of the mud and sticks out of the stormwater system. Once Brad had completed his end of the bargain Dirty Dave and Randy Balls got in there and started doing their thing. I came to help them. They brought the turf out to me, and I laid it. It's been a while since I've done any laying and my back was quite sore the next day.
In the end I managed to get out of there at about 7:30 that night. I return every night now after 7 so I can water the ground for an hour. I'm organising the children to dance in a circle to try and get the rain gods to give us a bit of precipitation. It seems to be working.
That's about it really. I watched the greatest hour of television last night. The Victoria's Secret Lingerie Show. It was amazing. Those girls are amazing. I felt kinda dirty watching it with my sister in the room, so I left to be alone for a while with those amazing specimens. They all seem like quite nice girls as well. Except for Naomi Campbell. I'm sure that she was just having a bad day though. But dear oh dear, they were beautiful. Vivacious. Effervescent. And sometimes that just sucks.

Second Safe

I suprised myself this morning when I woke up. Why? Well, I was in someone else's bed. I'm not too sure how I got there. I think that there may have been some fence jumping. I basically don't remember anything after a certain time. It was that first Jaegerbomb I think. I've got to get away from those things.
So I went home and I had a hankering for a pizza. The triple cheese base pizza from Dominos to be precise. I tried the pizza they had out last year with two bases and cream cheese in the middle and I was very disappointed with that one, so I was a little hesitant about the triple cheese base. It turned out pretty well actually. Tasted great hot and cold. I ate the whole thing! Mmmm. I feel like eating some more now.
It's been a very cruisy day. I've watched a couple of movies, Never Been Kissed and Lemony Snickett's Series of Unfortunate Events. They were both enjoyable. I've spent a bit of time cruising around the internet. Some of the time I've spent looking at things I shouldn't, shock sites, things like goatse.cx and tubgirl.com. There's some pretty gross sort of stuff. I've never been into scat. I'm no coprophiliac.
I've also been reading a few threads in a forum I check out occasionally. I went into a section I normally don't bother with anymore, and in it people put up photos of themselves having a big night out. Or in. So there were a few interesting pictures, lots of enlarged pupils, a few people looking really out of it. Then I stumbled across one dude from Brisbane who'd enjoyed a night out at Family. I had a look, and who do I see skulking around in the background? I've only been to Family once in the last 12 months. That I can remember anyway. Actually it might be two. But I think that I can remember with a bit of certainty some aspects of that night. The guy claims that it was a Ministry of Sound night, I didn't think that I went to that though. Who knows? Not me, that's for sure.
This has also brought up a huge feeling of de ja vue for me. I seem to remember discovering this picture, but I'm pretty sure I've never seen it before. Weird. Just plain weird.

Jack's Simmering Anger

What is it with people at the moment? All those people out there are just driving me to distraction! Not all people, mind, just a whole heap of people who should know better. Like siblings. Like co-workers. Like tradesmen. Like parents. I don't know what it is, perhaps it's me who's being the dick, but that's unlikely isn't it?

I mean, take the tradesmen. The past few weeks I've made times for several of them to come and do some work for me at the centre. I've had signwriters, painters, general handymen and a few others come on down. How hard is it to show up to a job when you've agreed to be there? To show up to a place where they are going to give you money? It's really very frustrating, it makes you look like an incompetent goose who can't get things done.

Perhaps it's just because it's been pretty warm recently. Perhaps it's because of the post-Christmas blues. Perhaps I'm just a grump. Anyways.

Another thing that is kind of upsetting me at the moment is the Big Day Out. Now, I know that it's always a great day, and that even if you go in there with a rock solid plan you only stick to it til your 3rd beer anyway, but I'm getting a little worried. First AFI pull out. Now Mylo has cancelled. And Jack White has got a sore throat. And there's a few clashes in the timetable. Hopefully I'll be able to weave a path of magic through the sets and get to see the ones I want to. The only pothole I can really see is Wolfmother and Vitalic. They're on at the same time. I really want to see both. At the moment I think that I'm more keen on Vitalic, but that could be because I don't agree with the mainstage. It's just too big and it's too hot and there are too many people. Yes, I am becoming an old man.

Anyways, it's now Saturday afternoon and I'm getting ready to have some fun. I thought that my mate Chris was going to be away longer, but apparently not. I have decided not to attend a farewell barbecue for one of the staff at the centre. I've had enough of those people this week, and next week is going to be interesting as well.

Last night I bought a Breaka. It was Sticky Caramel flavour and it was delicious. It was a little too delicious and I drank it a little too quickly. I felt a bit sick after that.

My Naked Face

Believe it or not but I made a mistake last night.

I know!
Tell me about it!
Unbelievable, huh?

It resulted in me having an absolutely horrible night sleep and caused me to have too many thoughts lying there in bed waiting for the release that my dreams would bring. It seriously sucked.

I spent the weekend down the coast at Burliegh. I'd had a very nice time, even though the weather wasn't the best and the surf was dangerously rough on Sunday, still though it was nice. I was really looking forward to spending Sunday night on the couch in my underpants with too much bad food, a couple of beers to the food slip down and Traffic on the television. It was going to be great. So you can imagine my surprise and disappointment when my young brother barges into the apartment with two of his mates. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not upset that these guys were going to be down the coast, but it would have been nice to get a phone call or something like that so I could have changed my plans. They were really pretty lucky that they caught me with pants on as well, because I'm pretty sure that their young eyes are not yet prepared for the power and beauty that is me naked.

I still had options up my sleeve at this point, it was only about 6 o'clock and I could have easily made it back to Brisbane to watch my show and have a good night sleep in my bed. But that's where I went a bit wrong. I thought that it would be much nicer to sleep down the coast in a room with air conditioning and maybe even go for a quick dip in the morning before making the commute back to the big smoke with the other seasoned travellers at slightly above the speed limit. It also helped that Dave was going to buy some Big Chief and they make some really great burgers. Dave told me that he was expecting a couple of other people as well, but I was cool with this because I just figured that I'd have a couple of beers, slip off to sleep in the isolated main bedroom and wake up in the morning without a care in the world. Wrong. Wrong.

The burger was great, so that was good. And it was only Dave, Joel and Randy Balls for a few hours so that was cool. I watched Traffic, had a couple of drinks and was generally pretty antisocial. Dave somehow managed to persuade Joel that they should have an Hour of Power. This is basically Centurion-lite. It only goes for an hour. I think that they got 15 minutes into it before somebody started to puke. Those Big Chief burgers really are big.

This doesn't really worry me. I mean, we've all vomited on occasion and so as long as it gets cleaned up, she's apples. Soon after though we had a couple of arrivals. The first was a dude called Chase and a couple of girls who are about to enter year 12. That makes them about 16, right? Dear oh dear.

There's nothing to make you feel really old like an attractive young girl. It's terrible. Like, really bad. Do you know that these girls would have been born after Expo 88? I've got shirts that I wear that are older than they are! I've got scars that are older than them! I've lived in this one house longer than they've been in the world! One of them's Dad uses heartshapedbox as his password on his computer! That means that I probably have more in common with her father than her! How did this happen? When did I get so old? And why do I, even though I've had better conversations with 4 year olds at work still want to get them naked and do all sorts of things to them? It's really terrible. They're still oh so young and oh so innocent but to look at them conjures up all sorts of sadistic and perverted scenes in my brain. It's really worrying me. I think that it's got something to do with them having long lean limbs and faces kept line free by exuberance. They've got all of the makings of a woman, they just don't know it yet, but they're slowly finding out.

Ah, so, yeah, sorry I kinda got a little worked up there. It's really terrible. I could just see these girls in a couple of years and they will be totally different. And do you know why? Because of dickheads like me trying to corrupt them. Not that I did last night. I just wanted to go to sleep. Still, I know what I was thinking.

To end the story, I ended up lying in bed for about 4 hours. No sleep. For a while I kept getting visitors. Then people started using the bathroom near my the master bedroom. Then some dude made out with one of those young girls. Then he left and the other girl came in and they talked about what had happened. Then some more dudes came to piss. I think that somebody puked in there too, they definately had a lot of trouble standing up. I just lay there, listened to a few tunes. Occasionally did the grumpy older brother thing and told them to keep it down some people are trying to sleep. In the end I think that I managed a couple of hours.

I shaved off my moustache today. I realise that I have a very small mouth.

To Provide Any Further

Oh oh. You may have read earlier in the week how I had sort of decided that enough was enough and that it was time for me to settle down again and that I'd been getting a little excited about things. Well, ah, I don't quite know how to say this, but I was reading this dude's blog and I downloaded an album by a group I hadn't heard of, but one that I was interested in hearing. It's Vitalic. I read a few reviews and they all had glowing reports, even going so far as to say this is the album that Daft Punk's Human After All should have been. It immediately piqued my interest, so I picked it up.

It's fantastic. Totally rocking and grooving and blippy and bassy and housey and electro-y and perverted and dirty and just amazing. It's when I hear things like this that I start to get a bit worried. I know what it leads to, and I know that it's bad for me, but I really want it. I want to be in some dark club with music playing too loud and people moving and people drinking and people with a wild look in their eyes. And I want to be one of them. It makes me want to smoke, it makes me want to drink, it makes me want to get on it, it makes me want to lose myself into the night. It's totally dangerous and that's what I really like about this album. Uh oh.

Plus I realised that it can all be over for a little while as the Big Day Out is coming up and we all know how much fun that day is. Even if it is the first day of school the next day. Especially because it is the first day of school the next day.

Another album that's leading me astray at the moment is one that I've mentioned before. Well, not so much the album as the group, Pendulum. They're a drum and bass posse from that city way out West, Perth. I wrote about the remix that they did of Prodigy's Voodoo People and I was listening to the radio the other day and heard another of their songs. It also kills. Dear oh dear oh dear. These groups need warning labels or something. Enjoy resonsibly. Listen to in moderation. Album kills. Tunes are addictive. Listening to whilst pregnant may harm your baby.

Apparently the Dandy Warhols are playing in the Vegas tonight, down at the Tivoli. I really should have organised myself to go and see them as the last time they were out it was a fantastic show and not only because Zia refuses to wear a bra onstage. Apparently she's a mother now, so I wonder if they would be lactating breasts bouncing beneath her t-shirt. That's not quite right somehow.

I finally watched that Chapelle Show with Charlie Murphy's True Hollywood Stories. The one with the catchphrase, "I'm Rick James, bitch!" I ended up feeling a bit sorry for the guy, he obviously lost touch with reality for a little while. Perhaps a few too many yes men and a few too many of those white lines. It'll do that to you though apparently. Still, up until the last segment where Rick doesn't remember hitting Charlie Murphy it was hilarious. Crazy stuff indeed. Perhaps it'd be a nice place to visit, but I don't think that I'd want to live there.

I was watching a bit of television last night and came across a most excellent game show. It was called Shopping For Love. I don't know if anybody has seen it, but it's hilarious. It's kinda trashy and the hosts aren't the greatest and the contestants are a little out there but it looks like fun. What happens is that there's a girl, and then there's two guys. The two guys are given 5 minutes to go through the house/room of the girl to try and figure out what they are like. The girl watches the guy's go through her stuff, and hears them make all their comments. The guy's identity is obscured throughout. They cut next to a shopping centre where the two guys have got 20 minutes to buy 3 designated things for the girl, using up to the $1000 they are given. They next cut to a hotel room where the two different sets of items are placed in front of the girl. The girl then chooses her suitor from the gifts they thought that she would like based on what they saw in her house. They then bring in the guys and the girl chooses. It's then repeated with the sexes reversed. Terrificly trashy stuff, but light hearted and fun. If you're ever up and it's on and you want a bit of a giggle, then I highly recommend it.

I have to try and think up a title for this one. I don't know what I'll call it yet. Got it!

Run Into Flowers

My Goodness Gracious Me. He's done it again! He's updated that journal of his! And you know what? Even though it makes little sense, even though there are several spelling mistakes and even though I should really be mad at him because he shouldn't be such a slacker - it is a joy to read his mixed up mish mash of a post. Check it out! It kinda makes me happy. And I know that I shouldn't be such a bitch about spelling as I've been known to make a few mistakes, but that's just the way the cookie crumblles. Ha!

That's actually kinda brightened up my day a bit. We had a double tragedy at the centre this morning. The two hermit crabs passed away over the weekend. I discovered there bodies this morning, it was horrible. Herman and Helmut, you were the best crabs a guy could hope for. Apart from being fairly anti-social of course. One of my favourite memories of the two of them was pretty much the only time I saw either of them actually moving around without being poked or prodded. In their crabitat there was a piece of driftwood, one afternoon I stood the piece of driftwood up so that it almost reached the edge of the crabitat. Imagine my astonishment when I checked on them just before leaving for home that day when I found the littler of the two perched atop of the driftwood, trying to make a break for it. It was amazing, I still haven't been able to figure out how he got up there. I think that they may have co-operated. Fantastic little creatures that they were.

It Might Be A Different Story

2006 huh? To tell you the truth I've been horribly underwhelmed by it so far. For me it has consisted of little other than sleeping, masturbating, eating, driving and vomiting. Not exactly in that order, but pretty close.

Actually that's a lie, the first 7 hours of the new year where quite eventful, I'm not entirely sure I remember why, but going off of how I felt yesterday afternoon I'm pretty sure that they were wild times.

Now that the new year is finally here and the silly season has just about finished I feel that it is time for me to rethink my values as I feel that over the past few months they have become skewed. Now, these are not resolutions, not in any way, shape or form. They are more like a redirection of my energies. I'm not entirely sure what I will be directing my energies towards. That's actually quite a scary sort of thought. I literally have no idea what the coming few months will bring. I am a man without a plan, so what sort of man is that? I hadn't really realised it. I think that I was too busy killing time and braincells waiting for the sun to come up after another night out. Ah, I certainly hadn't expected this to be up on the screen in front of me when I started writing this. I was just trying to give my dick a breather before I beat it again. Ha!

I think that I know how this may have come about. I've spent a bit of time today reading various blogs and things like that. There's a few that I read sporadically and I'm not sure what it is that draws me to them, but they're more often than not little more than angry rants at the world. I think that it's sort of a little voyeuristic and I've had to have a replacement for fark since I cured myself of that addiction. Anyways, alot of people have chosen this time of year to write about what they hope to achieve in 2006 and what they are looking forward to leaving behind in 2005. The only thing that I know that I've said goodbye to in 2005 is my ATM card which I lost at the casino the other night. I'm not especially happy about that either.

I kind of feel as though I'm writing in circles here. Probably because I can't think of an acceptable answer off the top of my head. Another question I don't know how to answer at the moment is what to do with my moustache. I kind of like it, but I feel that it's kind of a novelty type thing and that it might be time to get rid of it. One reason that I'm a bit worried about losing it is that I was bitten on the face by a dog the other night. I really shouldn't have grabbed him like that and I paid the price. Oh well. When I touch it my face feels kind of weird, so I don't really know what the hair is hiding. Could just be a bruise. Anyways.


I have a particularly pungent personal aroma at the moment. It has a real sting to it. Perhaps that is where all of these questions are coming from, I could be kind of high from my own supply. It is really that bad.